After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
