what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You were trust falling into bushes
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
