you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
