do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
