You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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