Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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