the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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