I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
