she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
