this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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