I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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