You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
