McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
