His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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