I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
