no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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