is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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