he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
