it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
