im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
