Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
