oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
