Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nicole vs. Life
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
