Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
