he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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