I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
