I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
