It's Friday. Sex?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
