I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
