Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Are we still banned from the library?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
