she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
