His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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