The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
