Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
