she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
