I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
