Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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