I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Porn is love you can see.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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