Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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