I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
