ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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