...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
