and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
