All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
