it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
