Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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