..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
