Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
