Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
