But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
